There’s a pause I take now before almost everything.
Before I answer my kid when I’m tired. Before I respond to an email that stirred something up. Before I walk into a room full of people I don’t know. I didn’t used to have that pause. I used to just react, straight from whatever version of me showed up that day, tired or scared or small, and then wonder later why my life kept looking the same. A steady microdose has been part of what widened that gap for me. It didn’t create the pause. It gave me enough space to actually notice it was there.
It took me years to understand what was actually happening in that half second.
Having Doesn’t Come First
Most of us have it backward. We think once I have the money, I’ll be generous. Once I have the relationship, I’ll finally be open. Once I have the success, I’ll stop caring what people think. So we wait to become that person until after we have what they have.
But it goes the other way.
You become that person first. Then you act as them. Then, because you’ve been acting as them, you start to have what they have.
I think about this as the hundred million dollar version of me. Not because the number is the point. It isn’t. It’s about everything underneath the number. Fully self loved. Not performing for a room. Doesn’t need anyone’s approval to feel whole, because they already are. Making every decision from that wholeness instead of from lack.
Two Versions, Same Moment
Here’s where I actually see this play out.
My daughter is pushing every button I have and I’m running on no sleep. Two versions of me could answer her right now. One is burnt out and reacting from exhaustion. The other is calm, full of empathy, has nothing to prove and nowhere else she’d rather be. Same child, same moment, and the outcome depends entirely on which version shows up.
An opportunity crosses my path, a new business idea, a chance to create something I’ve always wanted. One version of me starts listing every reason it can’t work. The other sees the freedom in it, the lives it could touch, how badass it would feel to actually build it. Same opportunity, different person standing in front of it.
I look at my bank account. One version responds from fear and scarcity. The other already knows they’re abundant, so nothing about the number scares them.
This happens in friendships too. Someone invites me somewhere new, and one version of me hesitates, worried about being too much or not enough. The other one just shows up as exactly who they are, because they stopped needing the room’s approval a long time ago.
The Practice
I don’t think this needs to be complicated. I think it comes down to three things.
The first is awareness. You have to catch the moment you’re about to respond from the tired version, the scared version, the version of you that doesn’t have what it wants yet. Most people never even notice the choice is happening. That’s step one, just noticing. This is the part Golden Teacher has supported most in my own practice. Low and consistent, it’s helped me actually catch that moment instead of blowing right past it.
The second is getting specific about who that person is. Not what they have, who they are. Free. Loving. Finished needing everyone’s approval. Write them out like a real person, because that’s exactly what they are.
The third is answering from them, every single time. The hard email, the difficult conversation, the friend group, the decision about your business, your body, your family. Ask what they would do, and then do that, even when it feels like a stretch you’re not ready for.
Why This Is Harder Than It Sounds
Your brain will fight you on this constantly. It knows the current version of you. It’s comfortable there, even when that comfort looks like suffering, because at least it’s familiar ground. Every time you respond as that person instead of the old you, you’re building a neural pathway that didn’t exist before. It gets easier with repetition. It does not start easy.
This is where the work with formulas has mattered most for me beyond that first layer of awareness. They don’t do this for you. They help create the space where the rewiring can actually happen, where you can catch the pause instead of skipping straight to the old reaction. Golden Teacher and Hillbilly have been a steady, low place to build this practice daily. For the deeper layer, the places you’re still not showing up this way and don’t even realize it, the Beautiful Experience Bar has been one of the most honest mirrors I’ve found.
They’re Already Waiting
I don’t want to keep creating my life from a version of me that’s already disappearing.
That’s the whole practice. You already know who that person is. You’ve known for a long time. They’re not waiting for you to have more, do more, prove more. They’re waiting for you to answer as them.
Who’s the hundred million dollar version of you.
XOOX, Your Mushy CEO
